Thursday, September 22, 2005

Jeb Bush Adds "Insane" To His Long List Of Credentials

Jeb Bush has been playing a weird, pro-capitalist, mystical version of Dungeons and Dragons lately. Or he's joined a Republican/New Age splinter group. Or he's eating Fruit Loops from the Cocoa Puffs box, if you know what I mean. No? What I mean is that he's channeling an "ancienct mystic warrior" named Chang. Or maybe Chaing.

"Chang is a mystical warrior. Chang is somebody who believes in conservative principles, believes in entrepreneurial capitalism, believes in moral values that underpin a free society.

“I rely on Chang with great regularity in my public life. He has been by my side and sometimes I let him down. But Chang, this mystical warrior, has never let me down"

After saying this, Bush then unsheathed a "golden sword" and gave it to Florida House Speaker Marco Rubio as a gift.

Based on this behavior, I'd say Jeb Bush is no longer eligible for the priesthood (see post below).


Anonymous Anonymous said...

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12:00 PM  
Anonymous meatandflowers said...

Last time I unleased chang I got community service and an anklet that beeps.

In response to a sticky august post calling out into the dark...yes there are readers out here. I know a dozen here. It's where we get our news. Here and at the Onion. Just makes more sense that way.

11:28 PM  

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