Thursday, April 14, 2005

Robopopes

Now that the Pope, that great guardian of humanity and the head of the world's largest child molestation ring has passed away, it can only be a short time before the "culture of death" succeeds in their evil plan to replace all living humans with either clones, stem cells, Terry Schiavo's corpse, or robots.

Well, they haven't quite gotten to the evil clones and stem cells yet, but the robots are everywhere. It seems that the enlightened kingdom of Qatar has decided that instead of kidnapping Indian children and keeping them in little prisons, and then using the malnourished youths as camel jockeys (real camel jockeys, i.e. people who ride and race camels) they will instead be using robots. Hey, if Qatar can replace their slave population with robots, maybe Nike can too!

Meanwhile, in New York City, "The Shithole on the Hudson," subway trains are being commandeered by evil robot overlords. As anyone who's ridden the L train knows, it is prone to delays and breakdowns. This is called "humanity," people, and we don't want to give it up to some kind of superefficient robot. Luckily, the robots are actually producing even more delays! Of course, this is only because they must frequently stop work to go out hunting Sarah Connor.

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