Sunday, February 20, 2005

Sinful Penguins, Swedish Penguin Whores, God, GW

Just as New York City has its gay penguin "situation," now Bremen, Germany, previously best known as the home to a fairy tale, might now be better known for the tale of its fairy penguins.

The traditional Bremeniennes, not being as forward thinking as their gay-loving New York counterparts, have been trying to break up the gay unions formed by the penguins in their zoo. And if you want to un-gay someone, where do you turn? Yes, hot blonds. The Bremen zoo officials have brought penguin-sluts down from Sweden to lure these good-natured homopenguins into a life of sinful boy-penguin/girl-penguin love. It really takes a combination of unholy Swedish sexuality and profane German efficiency to undo a penguin union that God Himself has brought together.

On a similar note, secret audio-tapes of George W Bush, made shortly before his first run for President (you know, the one where he won by cheating, instead of just scaring people) show him saying that he would not "kick gays, because I'm a sinner. How can I differentiate sin?"

I'm sure people will promote this as a mark of GW's moral character and compassion, and I do think it's admirable that he doesn't want to "kick" anyone (or didn't want to...can you say "anti-gay marriage amendment"?) but I'll bet none of the gay right-wing commentators who still support Bush will point out that what he's saying is that homosexuality is a sin.

Not in the eyes of God and the penguins, Mr. Bush. Not in the eyes of God and the penguins!!!!

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