Monday, December 06, 2004

Red Staters Suck At Football

We all know that red staters are more likely to get divorced , more likely to suck up tax dollars than to pay them, and more likely to kill each other. Sure, that all makes sense: I mean, people who are stupid enough to still believe that weapons of mass destruction were actually found in Iraq seem more likely to engage in irresponsible, lazy-ass, antisocial behavior in general.

But did you know that red staters are also worse at football than blue staters? That's right, in every single division of the NFL where there is even a single blue state team, a blue state team is leading the division. Why is that? Well, football is certainly a strategic sport, and we've seen how well the red staters handle strategy (because we're totally winning in Iraq!!!!). But maybe it's just because football involves discipline, hard work, and putting your ass on the line. Cf. George W Bush for someone who got ahead without any of that.

They may have won the election, but we're going to win the SuperBowl. Which one do you think more Americans pay attention to?


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