Thursday, November 11, 2004

Language Facts

Language facts

There is no word in English for “under.” English speakers have to say “not over, but that other thing.”

The Oxford English Dictionary was written by a seven-year-old girl.

Some flies can read, but not very well.

Eskimos have a hundred words for snot.

Children who learn a second language score higher on math, reading and science tests, and are nerdy little girly-boys and pimple-faced retard losers who can’t even throw a baseball.

A firkin is equal to nine imperial gallons.

“Faces” and “feces” sound a lot alike. Isn’t that weird?

More English words were coined by Phyllis Diller than by Jackie Mason and Don Rickles combined.

“Japanese” is the official language of “Japan.”

A group of crows is called a “murder.” A group of larks is called an “exaltation.” A group of musicians is called a “band.”

The name “Hawaii” comes from the sound that white people make when they fart.

There are only 25 letters in the alphabet; “Q” isn’t a letter: it’s an abomination in the eyes of God.

Most computer languages contain no word for “ketchup.”

Sunday, November 07, 2004

We Shame The Monkeys

Thank God (the real one, who lives in the sky, not the evil monkey one that the Muslims worship) that Wisconsin has now finally decided to allow the teaching of TRUTH instead of just the lies of so-called "evolution."

That's right: Wisconsin students will now be told that the world was created in six days by Doug Henning

Also in the news, it seems that Halliburton is having trouble keeping up with the new government orders for Zyklon B, and may have to outsource its production.

Breakfast in the Heartland

Slate has been running a series of articles on why the Democrats lost. I think the answer is obvious: brunch. If the Democrats were elected, brunch would be mandatory. A lot of people in the heartland do not want to eat brunch. They want to beat up fags.

It's a cultural difference that the Democrats simply cannot understand. It's about values.

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Four More Wars!!!

Four More Wars! Four More Wars

At least we'll be safe from gay marriage and rational thinking and peace for four more years.

Fucking gay-ass pacifist scientists with their "evidence" and "loving commitment to each other" and "diplomatic solutions."

But on a serious note, at least Bush will have to clean up his own mess now. With the Iraqi insurgency growing in force, it seems likely that this war is no longer winnable. If Kerry were in, he'd have to deal with it, take the blame, and be a one-termer, and then we'd have eight more years of President Wolfowitz sucking his comb on national television.