Saturday, October 16, 2004

My Date With Mary

One time, I was out with my girlfriend, Mary Cheney, at her parent's house, and we were sitting and chatting amicably about the benefits of corporate monopoly capitalism and the elimination of the boundaries between state and business, and how this would lead to a one-word global economy which, like Stalinist visions of internationalism, would be highly centrally controlled, but, unlike Stalinist internationalism, would still include class stratification. Anyway, I say something about the necessary erosion of civil liberties required by such a society, and how that's a good thing, and that it would be naturally accomplished in part by the unification of the various media conglomerates, and Dick says, "yeah, but the problem is that even the proper {i.e. right-wing} media have a large contingent of homosexuals in decision-making positions," and Mary says "but Dad, I'm a twat-munching lesbian!" and I'm all like "you are!?" Man, was I surprised.

Because she had just given me the best blowjob I'd ever had.

Best. Blow-job. Ever.


Blogger kant said...

Now that you mention it, when she and I were dating a few years ago, I did notice a certain something about her. I have to say, I'd gotten the impression, a somewhat vague impression, over the course of the evening, that she was, well, how should I put it? A selfish hedonist. But now, with this revelation, it all finally makes sense! I see that I can actually trust my intuitions after all. I'll keep that in mind the next time I'm dating.

1:30 AM  

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